Most Runners Compare Ourselves to Others At Some Point
Hey, I’m a running coach and I still have issues with my self-confidence. Don’t get me wrong, I’m getting better at it, but, you know, there are a lot of times that you can really get in your head when it comes to running, especially when it comes to comparing yourself to everybody else.
Running is really one of those sports that it’s so easy to compare yourself to other people: you can compare your paces, how much time others run, how far everybody else is going. It can be really hard on your mind and you can they can really make you feel like s*#& and, honestly, that’s really hard to deal with, especially when you’re in the middle of maybe a run or a race and you just start going down the rabbit hole.
Strava and Garmin
This is one of the reasons that you won’t find me on Strava. I am on Garmin, but I keep that very I keep that secret and it’s only available to my TRU Tribe team to see. I’ve listened to people or watched people on Strava say things like, “Oh, the reason I was slower this time is because I was with so and so.” I’ve actually seen people stop their watches when they take walk breaks, so it’s only tracking their running. Hey, to each his own, I always say. Everybody’s writing their own running story, so I’m not judging, but for me, Strava was one of those things that, by comparing myself to other people, was just driving me crazy, so I just chose not to care. You won’t find me on Strava, because I just don’t need that extra pressure. So the great thing is that I continue my running journey and I keep learning more and more. So I’m going to share some of my tips about how you can really work on stop comparing yourself to others.
I’m sure you’ve heard the quote that ‘comparison is the thief of joy,’and it really is! Think about it. When you compare yourself to other people, it doesn’t really serve any purpose, whatsoever. Also, you really don’t know what everybody else is going through, anyway, right? I’ve been in races and I’ve talked to people and discovered that somebody maybe did a marathon the day before, because of whatever their crazy training plan is. You know I’ve been in races where you have people who were sick just the day before, and they’re going to be a little slower than normal. There are so many reasons that can affect what’s going on in your run, and it really doesn’t matter what’s happening to everybody else. So here are some of the steps that that work for me that, hopefully, will help you out, too.
Becoming more self-aware of your thoughts
Number one is really just becoming self-aware of when you’re going down that ‘comparison rabbit hole.’
Self-awareness is basically just being aware and realizing when you start going down the rabbit hole. For me to improve my self-awareness, I really found that meditating (that could be a whole other video, lol) really helps. The more you meditate, the more you become self-aware of your thoughts (especially negative thoughts!) that come your way. So, as soon as I notice those thoughts, the first thing I really do is I sit with it (but not for too long, though). So, I just sit with those feelings for a little bit. I’m going to just kind of pay attention and observe what feelings I’m having, and just to allow myself to feel and consider them. So, that’s the first thing I do. I recognize it. I sit in it. Maybe take a couple of deep breaths to slow everything down mentally.
find a favorite running mantra
Number two. The next thing that I do is I think about my favorite running mantra: “I am writing my own running story.” Then, I think about whomever I might be comparing myself to, who either just sped by me, or whatever the case is, and try to focus on the fact that they’re writing their own running story too, right? I don’t know what their story is (and, really, it doesn’t even matter if I know their whole story), I just need to be focusing on myself.
I remember one thing that really struck me, when I was going through my meditation practice one day. One of the first meditations that I learned was from Deepak Chopra, and it was this whole idea of feeling inferior to other people, which is really what you’re doing when you’re comparing yourself to others. It’s not often that you’re thinking, “Well, I’m faster than everybody else.” When you’re comparing yourself to others, you’re more often in a bad place, because other people are faster than you, or are going longer than you, or something they’re just doing better… than you. This insight is something I go back to a lot now, when I think about comparing myself to other people:
If I am thinking that I’m inferior to maybe one person, then it probably means that sometimes I’m also feeling superior to another person. When I realized this, it really didn’t sit well with me.
I don’t want to feel superior to people, either! So, that’s one of the things that I always go back to. It’s always a constant in my head just to think about those words, because I don’t want to feel superior to anybody. And again, I’m writing my own running story. It doesn’t matter what everybody else is doing, really.
Practice Keeping Yourself Out of the Comparison ‘Rabbit Hole’
So, those couple of steps work for me, but here’s the deal. We each have these neurological pathways that we have created because of our life experiences. Over time (especially if you are somebody who finds yourself going down the rabbit hole and comparing yourself to other people quite a bit), you know that’s a pattern that you’ve built for yourself and it’s not going to go away on its own.
So, what I would recommend that you do is just to keep practicing. Anytime you’re out there, whether you’re in a training run, or you’re with a group of people, or you just realize that you start going into your head and comparing yourself to other people, follow those steps and I really hope that help you break these old ways of thinking about yourself and about those around you and creates more positive habits.
I hope you’ve gotten some helpful info here and hope to see you soon!
Last ultra in my 40s 3 years older than my last 100K
24 minutes and 33 seconds faster
But this race was so much more than this! I can’t believe that I finished 63 miles in 19:22:34 this year and felt amazing the whole way. I honestly still feel a little guilty about saying this but it’s true!
As a quick reminder:
I always like to do races that challenge me out of my comfort zone in February because it’s my birthday month. Turning 50 this year made it even more epic (I was supposed to do my first 100 miler in January of 2021 but it got canceled due to COVID)
I’ll share my post race reflections on why this race was so amazing for me in hopes that I can inspire you to have some of these amazing experiences too…..then a quick recap of how my day went.
6 feet apart at the start line with a wave start
Jubilee! One of my favorite Race Directors 💜
This race was close to being canceled due to the escalated COVID cases in AZ, more specifically Yavapai County which is where most of the race is located. I kept my fingers crossed until we received the email that IT WAS HAPPENING! On 2/2 (11 days before the race) we found out that there would be wave starts (standard with COVID now) AND that I would only be able to have one pacer (instead of 2) and no crew. This threw a wrench into my excitement about the race.
Since I am a back of the packer, they try to avoid having people pass you on the trail (COVID) which meant my wave start was 10am rather than 7am. This news hit me because it meant I would be spending more time at night. Don’t get me wrong, I love night trail running but I’ve been lost on this course before. It’s also pretty remote so this just added some anxiety now.
For most ultras, you can have a crew and pacers. They are there to help keep you focused, moving forward and taking care of the details when your sole focus as the runner is to get to the finish line. In the original race, you can have a pacer for the last 25 miles (two different segments). With the new rules, I would only get one for the last 12 miles. This added stress because it meant more running in the dark alone.
At this point I had the option to not accept these changes and post pone it until next year. My first reaction was to do that. I was really bummed about these changes (although I absolutely understood them to be necessary for the race to happen safely).
Not gonna lie, I was freaking out about them! But thanks to my meditation practice which helped me go from REACTING to RESPONDING and a few texts from friends, I made the decision to go for it. If I tell my athletes that the magic happens when you get out of your comfort zone, I had to practice what I preach!
Key Lessons
One of the reasons I love running is because it provides an avenue to learn more about myself.
Things that went well:
I canceled track the Thursday before. I didn’t want to have an alarm clock wake me up during that whole week. Thankfully I can do this since I’m self employed. I used to underestimate resting and learned how important it is. I allowed my body to wake up whenever it wanted to the week before knowing I’d be on my feet and awake for 18-20 hours on race day.
I was prepared! Speed is not a way I measure my running success but this time around I wanted to be faster so I knew I had to do some different things. I followed a training plan from McMillan Running to try something new and then added my ChiRunning/ChiWalking form focuses. Due to COVID, I was able to do more running alone which allows me to train at my pace. My training plan had various types of runs that I had never really focused on before because I run so much with my TRU TRIBE. I found these challenging and fun. I also happened to do more road running due to my Every Damn Street Virtual race and I feel that helped me build my stamina in a different way. There is no doubt that being prepared had a huge impact on how I felt on race morning: prepared and ready to go!
I followed my nutrition plan from Sparks Systems. I am fat adapted and my body felt like a well oiled machine. I’ve never had any gut issues when running long distances so I keep doing what’s worked for me.
What surprised me the most was how good I felt the entire time! We always say that there are many highs and lows during an ultra race and you learn to “ride the wave”. The wind, the rain, the dark….none of it brought me down. I brought my Noxgear 39g and was prepared with music, podcasts, audiobooks to keep me company.(Use code RUNNINGU1 for 35% off the Noxgear 39g. I love mine!) I may have listened to these for maybe 3-4 hours during the entire race. My goal was to be alone as much as possible. I run with people all the time (and I love it!) but this was my race, my pilgrimage, if you will, into my 50th birthday year. I was really looking forward to just being alone, out in nature for a “few” hours by myself…and that’s exactly what I did.
The week before I started working on visualizations of the course and seeing myself out there having a great time. I meditate daily with the Insight Timer app. That week I found meditations about grounding, receiving and gathering energy. My plan was to take in as much as I could and conserve it until race day. Sounds almost cheesy but I believe this really worked for me. In addition, the week before, I was getting so many texts, emails, social media comments from people wishing me well and I took all of those in. I kept mentally conserving all that positive energy I was receiving. I felt it really propelled me on race day and was literally drawing me towards the finish line…like I almost had no control over it. We call this YChi in ChiRunning and I don’t ever think I felt it as strong as I did on this day. I could definitely feel the energy of my TRU TRIBE with me too. Here is just one of the positive messages I received that week:
I’m glad I decided to have a pacer for that last 12 miles! I had left it to my friend and colleague Henry Walker to decide between him and his girlfriend. I trained Henry last year to become a ChiRunning/ChiWalking instructor (the only other one in AZ!). He pulled his calf muscle lightly the week of the race so they decided it would make most sense for Laura to pace me. As much as I know I could’ve done it by myself, she helped me stay focused on moving forward. I would’ve slowed down for sure if I was alone.
I always have to mention ChiRunning/ChiWalking because I would never consider doing these distances without it. I was lucky enough to get to zoom with my mentor and founder, Danny Dreyer, the week of the race. He gave me some last minute tips. I focused on my technique quite a bit during the race. While I was pretty sore the first few days after the race, I felt great after that! I swear by ChiWalking especially during my ultras. There is a big difference in regular walking and I believe this also had a huge impact on my energy levels all day. The goal is always conserving energy and one can waste a lot of energy when running and walking. In addition to technique, several time during my race I visualized gathering energy from the earth every time my foot hit the ground.
I PRd by 24 minutes and 33 seconds! That’s about 24 seconds per mile faster for 62 miles! My technique, training and mindset all came together that day and I rocked it!
Things that didn’t go so well (yes there were a few things)
I always say never try new things on race day. This is common knowledge. While I was trying not to freak out about being in the dark longer by myself, this was one thing that was giving me anxiety. Most of my TRU TRIBE uses the Kogalla light for night running. I’ll be honest, I haven’t been crazy about these because they can be pretty bright and if someone is coming towards you, it can be annoying. (come to find out there are actually 20 brightness settings!) A few of them suggested I should try one out. I bought one the weekend before the race hoping it would get to me on time. I borrowed Jan’s the Tuesday of race week so I could try it out. It really did light the trail up quite a bit and she let me borrow it in case I didn’t get mine in the mail. I happened to get mine before the race but only tried it that one time. I have an entire different view on these now. The light was awesome and really increased my confidence of being out there alone. Since I only tried it that one time, I didn’t know how it would effect me on the switchbacks going uphill in the canyon. I am afraid of heights and used to having a headlamp. When you have a headlamp, it points wherever your point your head so although you have more limited lighting, it’s focused in the direction your heading which is in front of you. Well, the Kogalla, was on my waist (race belt) and lit up the entire trail in front of me (that’s the point!). What this meant that when I was going up a single track uphill, I could see the periphery which meant the slope down into the abyss and bottom of the canyon. It didn’t dawn on me to move my race belt towards the mountain side more (which I would’ve figured it out had I practiced with it more) so this slowed me down. I was more tired, it was dark so I really had to focus on looking ahead and not letting the ledge of canyon effect me. Aside from that, I am new fan of the Kogalla!
Kogalla lighting up the water crossing
Not having crew there until the last aid station effected me. Your crew will normally be able to meet you at various aid stations. They are there to help you make whatever changes and help you get in and out of the aid stations as quickly and efficiently as possible. I tell my runners all the time: DFA (Don’t F*#k Around) at the aid stations. You can waste a lot of time if you are not focused and the clock is ticking (only important if you care about your time and I was trying to PR). I really could’ve used a crew at Black Canyon City. This was mile 39 of 62 and I had been in the dark already for several hours. I was getting tired (I was about a little over half way) and I had ultra brain. I fumbled around with my drop bags, trying to figure out what I needed and what I could get rid of. I had to change my shoes and get into some warmer clothes, refill my pack, eat some food…it was a lot to handle on my own and if I had someone there with me, I probably would’ve saved at least 10 minutes. I stayed here longer than I anticipated. I didn’t have a choice as crew was not allowed there but I felt the loss of not having one.
I second guessed myself at one spot that ate up about another 15 minutes. I’ve gotten lost on this trail several times although only during training runs. The course was well marked! There is a point as you head in and out of Black Canyon City that you have to take a different way so you don’t go back the way you came. The course was well marked but I was paranoid about going back the wrong way. At one point I was feeling like maybe I missed it so I turned back around to that spot. Then I stopped, pulled out my All Trails app (where I had downloaded the course map in case something like this would happen) and realized I was going the right way. Better be safe than sorry but this “cost” me another 10-15 minutes.
Race Day
The silver lining about starting at 10am, meant that Greg (my boyfriend) could actually drive me to Mayer High School to drop me off at the start (this is a point to point race which means you start at one location and finish at another.) This adds some additional logistics to the day. The race offered a shuttle for the runners. I have a thing about shuttles and buses before a race. It depends on the race but I really like to be in my own space and energy before a race, especially a big one like this one. The erratic energy of a bunch of people in a shuttle tends to mess with me so I was grateful that I could be in the car with my honey for about 90 minutes getting myself psyched up.
I had created a spreadsheet like last time with my tentative pace from each aid station, taking into consideration the course profile, my strengths, time of day, etc. The first time I did this race, I finished in 19:46:01. The cutoff was 20 hours. For any first time experience, I never focus on speed. I know it’s my first time doing that distance, it’s all about enjoying it as much as possible. I was messing around at the aid stations, drinking some beer here and there, and just having a good ole time. This time would be a bit different. I wanted to have a PR (personal record) so I needed to be more focused. I felt stronger going into this race (I had just PRd the Coldwater 52K race the month before by 52 minutes!) so I had two different goals. First goal was to beat my time by an hour and the stretch goal was to finish in 18 hours (1hr 45min PR). I knew this was aggressive but I wasn’t attached to it…just hoping I could do it.
Fifteen minutes before my start, I got this text message from my buddy Archie (one of our TRU TRIBE mascots)
As usual, I started faster than my predicted time. I knew this would happen but I was still holding back knowing I had a lot of miles ahead of me. The course has a negative profile (more downhill than uphill) which is deceiving. Downhills are my jam but this time we had some serious head and cross wind. While I love downhills, I am afraid of heights too. These downhills are single track and so much fun but the wind added an element of uneasiness as I was cruising down. Probably a good thing that it slowed me a down. Click here for the live video where you can hear the wind.
One of my favorite spots: the iconic windmill
downhill!
In addition to the wind, there were some pretty big clouds looming around. On the drive up, I had noticed that now the weather app was showing possibility of rain. Ugh! Not the biggest fan but this race has been unpredictable (I dropped to the 60K at my first 100K attempt due to some serious bad weather) so I was prepared. I already had packed an extra pair of socks in each drop bag (in ultras you get to have drop bags at specific aid stations where you can have extra stuff you need so you don’t have to carry it all while you are running) and had a poncho in my hydration pack and thankfully brought my purple wind breaker. I lucked out and got sprinkled on a few times during the day. I stayed ahead of my predicted time until about mile 35. Night had already started to fall so I slowed down as I expected I would. I approached my first water crossing which was a few miles before the Black Canyon Aid station which is where I planned to change as much of my apparel as possible as it was getting colder. One of the hardest parts of an ultra in my opinion is dealing with the major temperature change between night and day. Especially here in AZ. I attempted not to get my feet wet in the water crossing but then remembered I was going to change my shoes and socks anyways so I just walked right through it…it was barely covering my ankles so it was uneventful. Oddly the cold water felt good on my feet and climbed out of the canyon. I was looking forward to this aid station. I have to give a shout out to Altra Running shoes! I’ve been a sponsored athlete for 3 years now and I can never say enough about them. It’s all I wear! I chose my Superior 4.5 for the first part because they are more minimal and flexible and my Lone Peaks 4.5 for the second part as they have a bit more cushion.
One major thing I love about our trail/ultra community is the most amazing people you meet. Even if you only see people at races a few times a year, they are your friends. As much as I was bummed that I was losing time at this aid station, it was great to see some familiar races. Huge thanks to Dawn. She works with Medstar Solutions and was at the medical tent. She popped over to say hi and I was venting about having to go change my wet bra in a porta potty. She was so sweet and let me go into the medical trailer to take care of that! It was also great to see Crystal volunteering who I know from Girls On The Run. So I changed everything except my pants, refilled my pack and got some hot potato soup which was exactly what I needed. I headed back out and now I was 40 minutes behind my predicted time. Changing into warmer clothes, socks and shoes and that potato soup totally reenergized me and I felt great.
The rest of the race was a meditative trance. I can’t even explain it. It was dark and I was just following my light and moving forward. I was alone pretty much most of this time in the dark. I remember thinking this was going to be the hardest part but I was actually enjoying the peacefulness of the night. I could see this huge big black cloud that I was running towards and I was hoping that I wouldn’t get rained on. I got lucky again and only a few drops.
I approached Table Mesa Aid Station where I would either pick up Henry or Laura to pace me the rest of the 11ish miles. I could see them both as I approached and Henry had jeans on so I knew right away who was pacing me. He also had a thermos and filled my cup up with one of the best things I had tasted: Hot Apple Cider Skratch.(electrolytes) OMG, I couldn’t get enough! Not only was it nice and warm but it tasted so good! Between that and having Laura for company, those last miles flew by. We chatted and of course I bitched about the rocks. This is my least favorite part of this course. There are several parts that are pretty rocky so it’s hard to get any momentum forward while running. We passed an awesome Saguaro forest that I didn’t remember from the year before, hit the last aid station and were almost there! I had been in great spirits all day but the only time I would get slightly irritated is when I knew I should be approaching an aid station and I couldn’t see it. We starting seeing lights but couldn’t tell if that was the finish. Finally, there it was! Due to COVID restrictions, no one could be at the finish line. I was so happy to know that I had 3 of my TRU TRIBE members who had volunteered that night so they could be at my finish! (Alina had to leave because she drove from Tucson to volunteer and I didn’t get back in as early as I was hoping) I could see Jubilee, the race director, and I jumped up as I crossed the finish line. Even though I knew I hadn’t met my original goal to PR by an hour, I still had a PR and felt amazing!
Small section of the saguaro forest at night lit by my Kogalla
I walked to the aid station to see Mindy and Catherine. They had a birthday goodie bag for me and I got to hang out with them for a few minutes. They offered me alcohol to celebrate (because this is what I would normally do) but I just wasn’t feeling it. I never had a beer until later that evening!
As I reflect on my journey to that finish line, I am 100% sure that my attitude and mental state going into this day were THE biggest key to my success. Being trained and using good technique of course go without saying. I was so excited about this race and this day, I couldn’t wait to get out there and have that experience all to myself. I am so thankful that everything flowed for me that day. As I was finishing, 19 hours plus into the race, I knew that if I had to, I could keep going……..and you know what that means?! Hmmmm ?! 😁
If you’ve been following me for awhile, you’ll know that I believe practicing meditation and mindfulness are a super power and the answer to all things in life. 😊 I just heard the phrase from Gaia during an audio session on Insight Timer this morning: Master Your Mind, Master Your Life. Continue Reading →
