How To Stop Comparing Yourself to Other Runners

 How To Stop Comparing Yourself to Other Runners

Most Runners Compare Ourselves to Others At Some Point

Hey, I’m a running coach and I still have issues with my self-confidence. Don’t get me wrong, I’m getting better at it, but, you know, there are a lot of times that you can really get in your head when it comes to running, especially when it comes to comparing yourself to everybody else.

Running is really one of those sports that it’s so easy to compare yourself to other people: you can compare your paces, how much time others run, how far everybody else is going. It can be really hard on your mind and you can they can really make you feel like s*#& and, honestly, that’s really hard to deal with, especially when you’re in the middle of maybe a run or a race and you just start going down the rabbit hole.

Strava and Garmin

This is one of the reasons that you won’t find me on Strava. I am on Garmin, but I keep that very I keep that secret and it’s only available to my TRU Tribe team to see. I’ve listened to people or watched people on Strava say things like, “Oh, the reason I was slower this time is because I was with so and so.” I’ve actually seen people stop their watches when they take walk breaks, so it’s only tracking their running. Hey, to each his own, I always say. Everybody’s writing their own running story, so I’m not judging, but for me, Strava was one of those things that, by comparing myself to other people, was just driving me crazy, so I just chose not to care. You won’t find me on Strava, because I just don’t need that extra pressure. So the great thing is that I continue my running journey and I keep learning more and more. So I’m going to share some of my tips about how you can really work on stop comparing yourself to others.

I’m sure you’ve heard the quote that ‘comparison is the thief of joy,’ and it really is! Think about it. When you compare yourself to other people, it doesn’t really serve any purpose, whatsoever. Also, you really don’t know what everybody else is going through, anyway, right? I’ve been in races and I’ve talked to people and discovered that somebody maybe did a marathon the day before, because of whatever their crazy training plan is. You know I’ve been in races where you have people who were sick just the day before, and they’re going to be a little slower than normal. There are so many reasons that can affect what’s going on in your run, and it really doesn’t matter what’s happening to everybody else. So here are some of the steps that that work for me that, hopefully, will help you out, too.

Becoming more self-aware of your thoughts 

Number one is really just becoming self-aware of when you’re going down that ‘comparison rabbit hole.’

Self-awareness is basically just being aware and realizing when you start going down the rabbit hole. For me to improve my self-awareness, I really found that meditating (that could be a whole other video, lol) really helps. The more you meditate, the more you become self-aware of your thoughts (especially negative thoughts!) that come your way. So, as soon as I notice those thoughts, the first thing I really do is I sit with it  (but not for too long, though). So, I just sit with those feelings for a little bit. I’m going to just kind of pay attention and observe what feelings I’m having, and just to allow myself to feel and consider them. So, that’s the first thing I do. I recognize it. I sit in it. Maybe take a couple of deep breaths to slow everything down mentally.

find a favorite running mantra

Number two. The next thing that I do is I think about my favorite running mantra: “I am writing my own running story.” Then, I think about whomever I might be comparing myself to, who either just sped by me, or whatever the case is, and try to focus on the fact that they’re writing their own running story too, right? I don’t know what their story is (and, really, it doesn’t even matter if I know their whole story), I just need to be focusing on myself.

I remember one thing that really struck me, when I was going through my meditation practice one day. One of the first meditations that I learned was from Deepak Chopra, and it was this whole idea of feeling inferior to other people, which is really what you’re doing when you’re comparing yourself to others. It’s not often that you’re thinking, “Well, I’m faster than everybody else.” When you’re comparing yourself to others, you’re more often in a bad place, because other people are faster than you, or are going longer than you, or something they’re just doing better… than you. This insight is something I go back to a lot now, when I think about comparing myself to other people:

If I am thinking that I’m inferior to maybe one person, then it probably means that sometimes I’m also feeling superior to another person. When I realized this, it really didn’t sit well with me.

I don’t want to feel superior to people, either! So, that’s one of the things that I always go back to. It’s always a constant in my head just to think about those words, because I don’t want to feel superior to anybody. And again, I’m writing my own running story. It doesn’t matter what everybody else is doing, really.

Practice Keeping Yourself Out of the Comparison ‘Rabbit Hole’

So, those couple of steps work for me, but here’s the deal. We each have these neurological pathways that we have created because of our life experiences. Over time (especially if you are somebody who finds yourself going down the rabbit hole and comparing yourself to other people quite a bit), you know that’s a pattern that you’ve built for yourself and it’s not going to go away on its own.

So, what I would recommend that you do is just to keep practicing. Anytime you’re out there, whether you’re in a training run, or you’re with a group of people, or you just realize that you start going into your head and comparing yourself to other people, follow those steps and I really hope that help you break these old ways of thinking about yourself and about those around you and creates more positive habits.

I hope you’ve gotten some helpful info here and hope to see you soon!

Measuring Your Running Success: (HINT) Speed Has Nothing To Do With It

What?  Not use speed or pace to measure your running success???!!!  That’s just crazy talk…..

Maybe for some people but not for me!  First of all, let me put you at ease if you do measure your running success based on speed.  This is probably the most common way most runners do it.  Again, not a bad way but also not the only way.

As a running coach, I hear this all the time with beginner and recreational runners.  They are constantly deflated because they are not “fast” enough or “I’ll be the slowest runner out there” and apply a lot of pressure on themselves because speed is what everyone talks about when it comes to running. This could ultimately lead to big disappointments because they get injured from trying to get fast or just decide to quit because “running is not for me”.

WHAT IF……
What if there were other ways to measure your running success?  Guess what? There are! Here are some of the ways I measure my success after a race, not in any order as they are all equally important (for me!):

  1. FEEL GOOD FACTOR:  my goal for just about any race is to feel good the entire time. This goes against the competitive grain of “go all out” and “give it all you got”.  Again, nothing wrong with this at all, but this doesn’t sounds like a way I want to spend my time. When I can finish a race and feel like a million bucks, that is a GOOD race!  Don’t get me wrong, I like to push myself here and there.  But generally speaking, I like to get into my body when I’m running.  I like to have my mind and body connected so I can feel what is happening. I like to see what kind of adjustments I can make to make it more effortless and feel good.  I don’t understand this idea of “suffering” through a run that many people talk about.  I’ve learned to respect that every runner has different goals.  If I’m suffering, I’m not having fun and what’s the point?  My first 100K is a great example.  I used the word epic to describe it.  My goal the entire time was to feel good and have fun….and I did! (by the way a much easier goal to achieve than worrying about speed!)

    My 100K took me 19 hours and 46 minutes. The cutoff was 20 hours. And here I am still smiling at the end….affirming that I was going to have fun and feel good, and making it so, MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! If I would’ve set a speed goal for this, it would’ve changed everything for me.

  2. FUN!:  If a race is not going to be fun for me, why bother.  Many people don’t consider running fun but I do (of course there is a love/hate relationship with it!). If I’m not going to have fun, why do it?  Strictly my opinion but pushing myself to a point of complete exhaustion doesn’t sounds fun to me at all.  This means I’ll stop and smell the roses. I love to take pictures, especially if I’m in a new location.  I’ve hung out with friends I haven’t seen in awhile volunteering at aid stations . Heck, I even stopped at an aid station for 20 minutes because they had some good alcohol!

    Crown King Scramble 50K, getting ready to climb a big hill…yes, I’ll hang out and have a few drinks before I do that. Some people say why, but I say why not?

  3. LACK OF INJURIES:  If I can run as much as I want, have fun and enjoy it, and not get injured too?  Well, that’s just the icing on the cake!   Now I can keep doing what I love to do and not get sidelined by injures.  Last time I had a running injury that kept me from running was in 2014.  Keep in mind that I’ve done one 100K, one 50 miler, one 40 miler and a bunch of marathons and 50Ks along with many miles since then.  I give the biggest credit to ChiRunning as it’s completely changed my life.  Poor running technique is one of the reasons runners (especially newer ones)  get injured.  Everyone assumes you put one foot in front of the other and you are good to go.  If that were true, 65% of runners wouldn’t be injured every year. It’s not running that causes injuries, it’s HOW you run that does!  I also stretch regularly, strength train and follow a training plan which are all factors in my running success.

    Writing this post on 5/9/18 and this is how long I’ve been running (ultra running) without injuries…

Running has always been a competitive sport due to speed.  No matter how long you go, there will always be a first place winner.  Technology doesn’t help either.  Now there are software programs/websites like Strava, Athlinks and UltraSignup that keep public records of your race performance.  I’ve seen people have to explain on Strava posts why their run might’ve been slower because they were running with someone slower than them.  Heck, Ultrasignup even ranks you and forecasts how you will finish based on past performances.  This is a lot of pressure for beginner and recreational runners and it doesn’t have to be this way!

Imagine going into a race with no major nervousness about how you’re going to perform?   Imagine going into it thinking about how much fun you’re going to have and how good it’s going to feel?  Huge weight lifted off the shoulders!   This is how I go into just about any race and it’s almost never failed me!  When I go into a race thinking about PRing (setting a personal record), it changes everything.

So how do I do it?

My number one strategy is detachment and making a conscious choice not to care about how fast I finish a race.  I first heard about the Law of Detachment when I started meditating.  Definitely not the easiest thing to do in the world but like everything else, it takes practice and is great because it effects all other areas in my life as well.  I basically go into a race being detached from any speed goals. I may say “I’d like to PR this race” but if it doesn’t happen, it’s not the end of the world and I’ll focus on celebrating what I did do well which usually ends up being the 3 bullet points above.  This just happened to me at the Sinister Night Runs.  I LOVE this course!  I figured I had plenty of training since ultra season just ended for me and I’ve been feeling great. I pulled up my stats for the last few years and knew what I had to finish with.  However I also decided I wasn’t going to look at my Garmin watch once to see where I was (I’ve done this before and it causes a lot of stress when you keep looking at your average pace and how far you still have to go.  Then I tense up, I’m not relaxed AND I’m not having any fun again).  I had one of the best races as far as Fun and Feel Good Factor!  I mean I felt so amazing the entire time!  Imagine my disappointment when I crossed the finish line 3 minutes later than my PR! Yes, I went there.  I started getting a little bummed. But according to the Law of Detachment, another factor is dealing with uncertainty.  Who would’ve known that I replaced my headlamp batteries with old ones so my light was so dim that I could barely see the ground (this was a night trail race).  I was grateful for other people’s headlamps and the full moon that night. I couldn’t account for that.  How many times do things not go as planned that you had no control over what so ever?  So even though I didn’t PR, and I started with a bit of disappointment, I knew that I had a fabulous race that night and did not let my speed (or lack thereof) bring me down and suck the fun out of it for me.

So if you measure your running success based on your speed, I challenge you to take your Garmin off and go on a run without caring about how far or how fast you go.  Just go run and see if any of the measures above work for you.

If you are a beginner or recreational runner, take a big sigh of relief now!  It’s your running story and you can do what you want.  I am a coach and say this! As someone who does this for a living and has finished DFL (Dead Effin Last) before and is a back of the pack runner in general, trust me, you can make our own rules!

I would love to hear how you measure your running success!  Please share!

(This post was inspired by one of my recent Facebook Lives called: Why I’ll Never Qualify for Boston)

I love this!

From My Running Story to Yours….
(if you feel inspired to share your comments, do so below…I want to hear your story too!)

To Plan or Not To Plan? That is the Question!

….and My Story Runs On….

Should you set a goal before a race or not?  Many runners do…..I always tell new runners not to worry about what everyone else is doing and do your own thing.  Running is social for me so I don’t tend to set many concrete goals before I do a race.  Read my blog and/or watch my video to find out about my last race;)

 

This past Saturday night, I completed my longest run in a long time…since dealing with my plantar fascitiis.  It was the 25K Javelina Jangover with Aravaipa Running (15ish miles).  A night trail run that started at 8pm.  I used think people were crazy to do night trail runs but now they are my favorite type of run.

Last year I did this same race with a few friends and we had a blast. It was their first longest race, and at night.  We had not any goals and completed it in 3:57.

This year most of my friends weren’t doing it and since I love this trail, I decided to go for it (I have been training for it).

As I said, I rarely go into a run with a solid plan but this time was different:

Needless to say, I was craving a nice long run where I could really focus on my form… and more importantly energy efficiency.   Here was my plan:

  • Beat last year’s time with a goal of 3:27
  • Not wear my Garmin so I could run strictly by body sensing rather than having the time/mileage rule my mind. I wrote another blog about this before.
  • I actually looked at the map. I new the first half of the race was hillier and that my 2nd half would be easier (was hoping for negative splits-when the 2nd half of your race is faster than the first half)
  • Be as energy efficient as possible by using the ChiRunning form focuses as much as possible. I also wanted to focus on applying the rule of matching my running to the environment.

I’m happy to report that my plan went very well:

  • I ended up with a 3:16:28 time (ended 7th in my Age Group out of 27 other women).  I averaged a 13:02 pace for 13 miles which I was happily surprised with.
  • I looked at my Garmin a few times to gauge the Aid station but happy that it did not “rule” my run.
  •  I was alone most of the run, didn’t listen to any music and was happy to run into a friend after the aid station and we chit chatted for a bit which helped the My favorite part was working on all my form focuses! Time went by so fast. You have to be very present when night trail running already but when you focus on form, it gives you something to work with as well.  My abs were pretty sore at the end which means I focused well on my posture the entire time and allowing gravity to pull me forward.  I focused on letting the trail pick up my feet and did a lot of work with my upper body. I focused on not rotating my upper body. I strategically ChiWalked up every hill which is very efficient and used short strides and my upper body to do more of the work. I focused a lot on breathing, especially nose breathing.  I never focused this much on breathing during a race and I have to say, this paid off. I felt great the entire time and I believe it was the breathing that had the biggest impact.  (I also give credit to Dr. Al Lundeen, my chiropractor, from Fast Forward Chiropractic who I’ve been working with for several months. We are working on some of my posture issues that effect breathing).
  • My other favorite running meditation is to focus on all my senses and be present within each of them.  Try it next time.  Focus on what you hear for a bit, what you see, smell, feel and taste.

I’ve ran quite a few training runs and races but I have to say, that had to be one of my best runs ever if I were to measure it specifically on energy efficiency. I felt great during the run and after the run.

AHA Moment:  It’s up to you if you want to have a plan or not.  But if you do have a plan, don’t get too attached to it.  Sometimes things happen that are out of our control…I’ve seen this happen where people make plans for an event and they couldn’t keep the plan and then they are beating themselves about it for days. It’s not worth it.  Make a plan and see how it goes.  If it doesn’t go as planned, figure out why and use it as a learning lesson next time. No need to beat yourself up about it!

Have you ever planned for a race?  How did it go?

 

From My Running Story to Yours….
(if you feel inspired to share your comments, do so below…I want to hear your story too!)

“Free your mind….

….and My Story Runs On….

and the rest will follow.”  Anyone remember that En Vogue song from 1992?  This post has nothing to do with the song other than the fact that when I freed my mind about this race, everything really did just follow…. Continue Reading →


Purposely run a race Garmin-free?

….and My Story Runs On….

What? Purposely run a race Garmin-free?
In November 2012, I decided to do something CRAZY. I purposely chose to run the Women’s Half Marathon in Phoenix without my Garmin!  CRAZY, right?! Here’s why…

Well, for starters, this was my 3rd year running this race. Since it’s been the same course, last year I was dead set on having a PR (personal record). It was probably the worst race I ever ran. Did I achieve the PR? Yes, I did. As much as I am proud of that, it was a miserable race. All I kept doing the entire time during this race was check my GPS, making sure that I was staying ahead of my last PR. I hurried through water stations and mentally and physically pushed myself so hard that I did not enjoy the race at all. Plus, I was really sore a few days after, which told me I was not focusing on my ChiRunning form either.

It was a tough decision, which I did not make until the day before the 2012 race, but I decided to leave my Garmin at home this year. IT WAS ONE OF MY BEST RACES EVER! And, I had another PR!

As I had a chance to reflect on my race, here is what I have learned:

• Being in the present moment, as opposed to worrying about the final outcome, is a wonderful place to be. I have learned this through ChiRunning but also with my daily meditation practice (not only has meditation improved my life, but also my ChiRunning). It’s really true when they say; “it’s about the journey, not the destination.” I focused on my form continuously and enjoyed every single moment. I thanked the volunteers, police officers, and spectators. I took in the beautiful weather and scenery that we have here in Arizona.

• Relaxation truly is the key. Since I was so relaxed mentally, this translated into physical relaxation. I stayed relaxed the entire time, even up the hills towards the end of the course. I stayed focused on my form and continually focused on my breathing to stay relaxed. I was shocked when I wasn’t sore one bit the next day!

• It’s not always about the numbers. When you are measuring something, it means you are going to do better or worse. What happens if we don’t improve? We tend to beat ourselves up which is not a good place to be. And what about those things that aren’t measurable? Like the beautiful scenery or those moments when you get to run with a friend you haven’t seen in awhile?
My bottom line:

Sure it’s great to push yourself to reach new goals in your running practice, but please don’t forget the reason why you run. One of the elements I love most about ChiRunning is having constant “AHA” moments. Not only “AHA” moments that affect your run, but more importantly that can be translated into your everyday life.

So try it one day:  let go of tracking your miles, your pace, or distance on your next run.

Purposely run a race Garmin-free?

From My Running Story to Yours….
(if you feel inspired to share your comments, do so below…I want to hear your story too!)