Who celebrates a DNF with a shot of Fireball?  THIS girl!

DNF stands for Did Not Finish and can be a runners worst nightmare.  

Some runners put a lot of time into training for an event, money into gear, traveling etc. Making a call to DNF can seem like you’re making a decision to QUIT.

Depending on what race it is, a DNF shows on your “official” record and drops your overall “score”down.  Some sponsored athletes are “forced” to DNF if it looks like they won’t place well at a race because it may make the company they are representing look bad.

So there are a lot of negative emotions around DNFing.

Several of my athletes have DNFd races before.  Some were “valid” reason while some were not (in my opinion).

Making the decision to DNF is a big one because it could be construed as quitting and most people don’t like to be quitters.

While the reason to DNF is personal, here  are a few reasons why it would be a consideration in the middle of a race:

• you got injured during the race and continuing to run could cause surgery or not running again for awhile 
• you’re not feeling good (sick to stomach, etc) and you could be in further danger of hurting yourself 
• you’re putting yourself in harms way 
• you die (morbid idea but possible!)
• at some point you decide it’s ok to make the call to quit because you’re not having fun anymore, it’s not your A race or it just doesn’t matter and the world won’t end because you have a  DNF 😃 (THIS!!)

I went into this race knowing the very top of it was going to be a big challenge for me. A few friends did it last year and the last 500 so feet is scrambling on hands and knees to the very top. I have no problem scrambling but it was at high elevation and I’m deathly afraid of heights. 

Heading to the top of that mountain behind us! 3500 feet of elevation gain in 6 miles!

I signed up for this race because it was perfect timing for some altitude and elevation training for TransRockies (my bucket list and A race of the year!). I had never done it before. One of my #trurribeteam members Jan, did it last year and said it was the hardest yet best thing she had ever done.  I decided to make it a Ladies Training Program and a few of us decided to get out of our comfort zone. 

When I picked up my race bib, it was number 252. This is a special number for Greg and I. It was our first apartment number. When we moved into it, we found 2 quarters and 2 pennies! (coincidentally Sunset Point of the I-17 is Exit #252 too)

Anyways….it was a lucky number for me.

As I started climbing up, I had the voice in the back of my head whispering about that final scramble.  From the start, this race was no joke.  First of all I was tired from my cumulative training which included doing the 2nd hardest race I’ve ever done the day before (Silverton Alpine Marathon).  Add the altitude and hard climb and I was averaging 35-45 min miles.  I checked the cutoff the day before and say that I had 5.5 hours to complete it.  The higher I climbed, the less likely it looked like I could finish in that time.  Mind you, it was an out and back so the return would be downhill but it was also a pretty steep downhill so not as runnable for me. I finally got the “top” and was greeted by 2 of my friends who were volunteering at the aid station.  I looked at the scramble and my first thought was:

I told them I was thinking of DNFing right away.  They encouraged me to go so I figured I’d put in my big grill panties and suck it up.  While I looked up at everyone on their hands and knees scrambling on loose rock, my heart was pounding as I made the attempt. My feet kept slipping and I really wanted to be one of those people doing it….but I realized I was completely miserable in that moment, was not having fun, I was more than likely not going to finish on the 530 hrs AND my A race was happening in 3 weeks!

I laid there for a few minutes with my face inches from the dirt, got really present and debated sucking it up or DNFing. 

One of the things I ask my athletes right away when they are signing up for a race is what’s your Why?  My why for this race was strictly getting a good training run in.

TRR has been in my bucket list for years, I volunteered a few years ago and was supposed to run it last year but Covid…there was no way in hell I was letting this race get in the way.  Anything could’ve happened and I wasn’t about to really to take the risk.

I turned around and told my friends I was making the call.  They were so sweet.  They tried to convince me not to DNF and offered to help me up the mountain but I had already made up my mind.  I was making a very mindful choice to take the DNF. Once the decision was made, a weight was lifted off my shoulders and I could relax.  I “celebrated” with an Instagram live and a shot of fireball and starts climbing back down.  Good news is that I wasn’t swept off the mountain so I only missed about .4 miles of the 12 and still got a great day of training done.

I won’t lie and say I was a little bit disappointed in myself…. however Kendall Mtn was not my A race and I truly believe that I made the right decision. 

The key was getting present, think about my WHY, being mindful and not letting my ego get the best of me!

I remember listening to a podcast from Trail Runner Nation awhile ago and one thing stuck in my head. Coach Jimmy Dean Freeman used these words instead for the acronym: Do Nothing Foolish.

I am super proud of myself for not doing anything foolish and at the end of the day, I still had an epic weekend of training mileage at altitude with elevation gain so I’d say it was a success in my book!